Thanks everyone for the well wishes, I didn’t realise your could post once a thread was closed as this was more of a heads up if I seem absent. It’s going to be a long process. I’m not back at work until the 6th of December when I start my new job it seems.
@drummer, it’s not the music man. Metal is very calming for me. What I put it down to is that my online, Linux and Metal lives are my escape from work, my time to disconnect and to escape from it all. Unfortunately, being this “disconnect” they are in a way actually connected to my work. It’s fucking hard to coherently explain.
I’ve been messing around in my garage sorting out all my tools, I have a new bigger tool box I am transferring all my tools from my massive great tool chest into. My workbench is all setup for the first time since I moved in (almost 15 years ago), my lathe is finally accessible and my garden is looking amazing. I have repaired my broken mountain bike and I plan on starting the gym next week and going with my son Tompa. I am having my first beer in a week (not counting the one I had with my wife out to dinner for the 18th wedding anniversary).
This is the first time since about Thursday with out any palpitations and breathing issues when using the computer. To put it all in perspective I was in hospital last Friday with a suspected heart attack, tests came back fine so they are saying it is some sort of panic or stress attack (second one this year). I had chest x-rays, multiple blood tests and ECG’s.
I’m not sleeping and talking about work or about anyone from there sends me into an attack.
The cool thing out of all of this is that I have realised that people actually do give a flying fuck about me, the amount of support I have received has blown me away. My wife and kids have been amazing (as usual), my parents and my younger sister (who I am very close to) as well.
It’s a hell of a way to get a break from the rat race of life but I am making the most of it.
Thank you again to everyone here for the kind and caring words. It means a lot, it really does.
I shall return.